Conformation is...a Performance Sport?

Hi, it’s me, Leia!

I’ve touched on the fact that I remain rather underemployed. What I haven’t talked much about is that though we residentially consider ourselves performance oriented first and foremost (obedience, rally, agility, maybe herding, things like that - though, to be perfectly correct only herding is performance; the rest are considered companion events), we also show in conformation. Conformation, for those of you who may need a refresher, is when we’re judged based on how closely we fit the breed standard relative to the other dogs - and bitches! - in the ring that day.

What is the difference? Well, if Upright is to be believed, the former is fun because we train and enhance specific behaviors and tasks and, ideally, develop exquisite teamwork (or, as I like to think of it: I do something she likes and she gives me something I want), whilst the latter is overrun by unfathomable and uncontrollable things like “politics”, “subjectivity”, “impossible hair standards” and, most nefariously, a wicked plot to take time away from actual fun things in order to spend days on end hopelessly grooming in order to trot haphazardly around a small ring for no more than two minutes in order to win 50 cent ribbons awarded by equally haphazard judging that appears to be directed by what the judge had for breakfast that morning, if not outright voodoo.

Or is it?

While we have not, I’m told, ruled out voodoo, we encountered a conformation handling instructor when Luke and I were just tiny babies who has made us rethink this endeavor. Apparently, if one learns how to handle properly - perhaps even WELL - the judge might actually SEE some of our finer qualities - OK, MY finer qualities - instead of having to GUESS what’s under that elaborately coiffed coat, even after the hands-on, and no longer have to base their judging decisions on what flavor of waffle was available at the hotel this morning.

This, we can get behind!

Now, in fairness, it’s not like Upright was unaware of the fact that not all handlers are created equal. It’s just that she’d never met an instructor who breaks it down in a way that makes sense to her. And by breaks it down I surmise that she means adds lots of fun things for me to play on and with, and expects us to actually be a Team, which apparently entails Upright knowing what she wants me to do and communicating it in such a way that I don’t think I’m just trying to trot around the ring whilst checking out the cute border collie in the ring adjacent and simultaenously staying out of the way of the rabid windmill by my side. Spoiler alert: this is not as much fun as it may sound. So the alternative sounds good to me!

Now, we’re still very much a work in progress. (OK, she is - I’m perfect.) But so happy are we with this approach that we wanted other OES to benefit from their handlers being less dorky (some of them are already really good, but there’s always room for improvement, and we didn’t want to be seen as being alone in our dorkiness. OK, Upright’s dorkiness - as we established: I’m perfect). Anyway, the upside of that was that after voicing this thought one of our better handlers magically put together monthly OES only handling sessions with this gift of an instructor.

There are five of us who attend pretty regularly; one from as far away as Minnesota. And though I love my regular conformation handling lessons, being with other OES adds something extra. For one thing, we’ve learned that even though our proficiency levels differ - some have been doing this since they were in diapers, and by this we mean Juniors; some are completely new to the endeavor; most of us are somewhere in between - it turns out that there are certain things that tend to be common to OES handlers; possibly due to the commonality of the breed; most likely due to the commonality of our collective mentors. Or at least that’s our current theory. We discuss this at length over the lunch that follows.

Since the Gifted Instructor breeds, shows and teaches handlers with an assortment of other breeds, she brings that perspective, and enjoys marveling over the idiocyncries of OES handlers. For instance, did you know that many of our handlers cluck and chirp at us? We’re not sure what kind of fowl they think we are, but this does not enhance our standing - let alone self-esteem - in the general dog population. Or maybe it’s a Midwestern thing? We’re still testing this hypothesis.

She’s also testing our handlers’ affection for their show leads. She delights in proving that we OES are not wired so differently from other dogs that we don’t fall into the same paradigm of reading body language better than English and leash pressure, and that if their body language is right, we will be too. (Sound familiar, agility folks?)

Of course, Upright tends to take big leaps and decided to test this in relation to my tendency to chase other OES in the ring (I like big butts and I cannot lie), but especially my bestie, Una. So when Una and I were going around the ring together and I started pulling to get to her, without consulting Gifted Instructor, she dropped the lead thinking that would make me think twice. Hello??!! I need not, I trust, describe how that experiment ended.

So after I was retrieved from my playbowing attempts to lure Una into joining my one bitch revolt, followed by proper contrition on Upright’s brainless behalf, we went back to working on Upright being more interesting than other playful OES bitches. She consoles herself that, unlike when she started working with my great-aunt, Sybil, at least she isn’t competing with dirt, so there is that.

That said, in many other instances dropping the lead does indeed enhance handling cues, because you have to actually focus on giving us some. Her overiding goal, she tells me, is to be able to handle me without the aid of a lead, even at an OES National Specialty, where I will surely be surrounded by many, many other fun OES (since the AKC discourages this, let’s just say that the lead shall be purely for decorative purposes).

The point is, she has goals. Some are incremental, as we refine things. Some are overriding and, perhaps, a bit of a stretch. But since she’s in her comfort zone of understanding cause and effect, breaking things down into managable bits, and feeling like she could, potentially, have SOME control over judging outcomes, other than trying to bribe the person who stocks waffles at the nearest hotel, this makes her happy, which in turn makes me happy.

Bottomline, we’re enjoying conformation. I haven’t been in an actual show ring very many times yet. But when we go, she has concrete performance objectives and, when met, she is ridiculously happy, and the ribbons become just the maple syrup on the waffles. (What can I say? She’s waffle-obsessed.) Others report similar improvements and increases in happiness.

Though I quietly consider these sessions as part of the greater SSOESWD objectives (Secret Society for OES World Domination, in case you’re wondering), and they are not listed publicly, this is mainly because we don’t have a set schedule for sessions and just have to try to find a Sunday that doesn’t conflict with other events for too many of us, they are not actually secret. We do invite other local OES handlers in the area to attend.

In other words, if you’re within a comfortable distance of Jackson, Wisconsin, and interested in attending, please drop us a line - Facebook comments or private messenging is probably the most effective way - and we’ll be sure to keep you in the loop. If you’re elsewhere and have the opportunity to organize something similar, we highly recommend it.